I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
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I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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