I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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