Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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