is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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