Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
