Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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