oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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