Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You may now shotgun with the bride
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
