My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
