you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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