I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
