Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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