Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My vagina just recognized that song.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
