I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
