Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Someone shit on the floor
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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