my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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