is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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