its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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