New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
