I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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