She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
