I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
