He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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