Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
