the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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