Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
