i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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