I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
