also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
