I feel like I'm in dance class right now
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize