I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
