Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
