What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
