At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
