It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
