i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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