I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
