My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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