CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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