....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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