Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
