he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
