the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
