Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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