we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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