I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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