And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Where are you guys?
Drunk
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
