My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
