Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
