There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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