You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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