Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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