Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yo dont text me then not text me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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