guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
