It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Of course I have a pirate flag
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
