omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
