She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
there is glitter all over my balls
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