Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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