Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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